Fear · Running

Back At It…Clumsy and Awkward

I knew change was coming.

Actually I was in the midst of transition when I decided to write every day for the entire month of October.  What was I thinking?

I didn’t meet the goal.  And I didn’t write anything in this space for the next 8 months. 

The desire to write would build in my heart, but my to-do list often crushed it.

Then decision fatigue settled in. I’m not sure if anyone has been diagnosed officially with this condition, but I self-diagnosed.  Who needs WebMD?

What was the cause of decision fatigue?

The new thing the Lord was doing in our lives.

We knew for several months that the Lord was doing something new in our lives, and we were excited to finally see where the Lord was leading us. 

A year ago, my husband accepted a new job and we entered into a new season in our lives.

The final six months of 2016 ushered in many goodbyes and many hellos.  We said goodbye to our church family of the past ten years and hello to our new church family.  We have been truly blessed with loving, supportive, welcoming church families.  Then I packed up my classroom and locked my door for the final time.  I was now unemployed for the first time since turning 16.  We put our house on the market. We enrolled my oldest son in Kindergarten. Then in the middle of 31 days of Fightin’ Words, we transitioned our sons from school to homeschooling, sold our house, and bought a new one.  I think you can understand why I pushed pause on writing.

All of these wonderful events led to decision fatigue.  You know when you have been bombarded with so many decisions that you can’t even decide what to eat for dinner.  The littlest and most common decisions are difficult to make.  Has anyone else been there?

I have wanted to get back into the discipline of writing, just like I have wanted to get back into my skinny jeans.  But you know, it requires making a decision.  Making the decision to eat healthy food.  Making the decision to exercise.  Making the decision about what to write to y’all. 

All these decisions left me doing nothing.  The only thing to get moving again is to move even if the movement is awkward and clumsy.  That’s how I feel about this these words on the page awkward and clumsy.  That’s ok.  I would rather be awkward and clumsy than immobile and silent.

Is there something you need to begin again? Or for the first time? 

Will you be ok to stumble through the first steps as you find your way?

May I encourage you to embrace the clumsy and awkward and just get moving?

One thought on “Back At It…Clumsy and Awkward

  1. clumsy and awkward…the current title of my life story! 😉 Good “re-start” Meredith. Somehow it makes me feel like we are chatting and having a cup of coffee. 🙂

Comments are closed.